A Time For A Change

Severus nodded a bit and after hearing about her global treks for ingredients, he made a decision, then leaned forward, a gleam in his eye and a very large grin on his face.

"How would you like to accompany me on a night time walk into a very exclusive, secret area..............that I maintain for some of my most 'interesting' of potion ingredients?"

Severus leaned back in his chair again and looked at Avalon deeply.

"Accompanying me will require secrecy on your part and a walk into a very enclosed area.   A cave actually for starters.  Does that appeal to your sense of adventure?"

He cocked his eyebrow and asked, "Do you trust me?"

Her brows rise. How could they not? There are so many key words that trigger her absolute attention, and she is, without doubt, curious as hell.

Let's see...night time walk, exclusive, secret, interesting, and cave. That's what Avalon hears. Ah, and one more thing.

"Yes, as it happens, I do." Grinning widely, she takes one more sip of water before digging through her pockets and putting galleons on the table. Rising, she wastes no more time, and immediately comes to Severus' arm, prepared to drag him out of The Three Broomsticks, if need be.

"Showmeshowmeshowme!" She begs in a hushed whisper. After the hell of a day they've both had, it's time to play. Even a dip in his lake might be a decent idea. With her chin on his shoulder, she looks up at him with large eyes.

"I'll be good! I promise!" She's trying so damn hard not to laugh. Batting her eyelashes up at him, she's all but wiggling in anticipation. Eyes darting around, she checks that the coast is clear.

"Side-along Apparition?" Indeed, she does trust Severus. There will be no splinching, on either of their parts. If she had a tail, it would be wagging.

Severus was thrilled that Avalon had caught his sense of play and adventure.  Her enthusiasm was contagious and he stood after paying for his meal and leaving a generous tip on the table............he grinned broadly at her and took her hand.

"Follow me!  Let's start a commotion first!"

He nearly ran down the steps, Avalon in tow holding his hand and ran out of the pub...............ALL eyes on both of them now, mouths opened in shock.  Severus laughed out loud at the stunned looks on everyone's face.  He LOVED to cause commotions like this now!  Let them talk and speculate.  He had nothing to lose in his life now as far as reputation was concerned.

Pulling Avalon along with him out the door, he suddenly pulled her to him, firmly grabbed her waist and twisted.  They immediately arrived onto a very narrow, windy ledge in the middle of a nearly sheer cliff wall that had to be in the southwestern part of the United States or Australia.  The warm, dry wind buffeted them both strongly and though Severus let go of Avalon's waist, he still held her hand.

"Now follow me.  It is quite tight along the passageway and I use no light here as light will destroy the fungi along the walls................but they are luminescent and will guide our way into the larger chamber.  Be sure to keep your head down as the top of the passageway is very low as well."

Severus ducked down nearly in half after letting go of Avalon's hand and led the way into the narrow passageway.  He wondered if Avalon would guess what she would see and if she knew her fungi she would nearly piss herself at the treasure she was about to see. The passageway led downward for a quite a ways, then veered to the left for a bit.  After veering to the left, the passageway dipped steeply downward to end in several steps leading down, then evening out to a flat surface.  Severus stopped at that point as the ceiling was much higher and there was now enough room to move.

"There is just a short way to go now but if you look to the right, you will notice that there is an opening that is glowing slightly.  This is reflective of what we are about to encounter."

Looking around the corner at the far wall, there appeared to be an opening and Avalon would notice a soft indigo glow in the far distance.  Severus was excited again and if Avalon could see him clearly, he would be grinning.

"I can't wait for you to see this!"

Following the rest of the pathway, Severus and Avalon approached closer and closer to the opening to the right and when they reached the turn, they turned the corner and stood in what was a huge opening in what was an enormous cave, filled with glowing strands of bio-luminescent glow worms and fungi.  The walls were covered with the fungi and strands uncounted meters long of glow worms hung from the ceiling like glowing stalactites.  The cave was bathed in an indigo color that seemed to pulse with life.  The smell inside the cave was not foul, amazingly enough but that might have been because there was a slight breeze moving through the enormous cave and one could hear trickling water as well as the soft and constant drip of water off of the unseen ceiling.

Severus, as always when he entered this cave, was speechless for a while, at the beautiful color, the vast open area and the enormous value of the caves contents.  The combination of glow worms and fungi produced byproducts, could not be found anywhere else in the world........and that combination had enormous magical potential for a potion so valued and rare, that only a small handful of potioneers knew about it let alone knew how to brew it.

As Avalon stood next to him, he turned to her and his voice came out in nearly a whisper.

"Arachnocampa luminosa and Mycena luxaeterna.  On their own, they are certainly valuable but combined as they are here, they produce what I call 'Merlin's Beard' and it is the essential ingredient for the elixir of life.................."

He paused to look at her and then stated clearly................."without the philosophers stone."

He stayed silent at that point and allowed his statement to 'sink in' a bit.  Yes, he was working on some very important potions.

A commotion?! Oh, sweet Merlin! Trying not to squeal or trip as they scamper down the steps, she chuckles uncontrollably. It's a good thing they're laughing, because otherwise, they might trigger a stampede--watching two people run like that a couple of years ago would have caused panic instead of just commotion!

Once out the door, she gasps softly as she's pulled to him, looking up at him with large eyes, her breath stilled in her lungs. In the next moment, there's the familiar sensation of being pulled through a vacuum cleaner as they Disapparate away. When they reappear, her brows rise at their location. There are a lot of intense sensations going on at the moment!

Keeping hold of his hand, she looks around her avidly. Ooh, fungi? Heeding his words, she bends down and follows closely...snickering at a thought that she doesn't speak aloud just yet. As they wind their way through the passage, she wonders how many people have come this way before.

When Severus mentions the opening, her brows rise...and yes, she can see it. What the hell glows THAT much? She's seen smaller, softer glows, but this is much more substantial than anything else she's seen a fungus do. Following on, her brows are now furrowed with curiosity. Oh... OH.

"Oh, holy shit..." She looks around with wonder at the mushrooms and glow worms, her hand instinctively finding Severus' inner arm as she gazes around. This is the mother-load. Listening to Severus speak about the combination of these...to make the elixir of life...without the philosopher's stone...she looks up at him after a moment.

"I think it's a lot larger part of Merlin than just his beard," she jokes lightly. Still, she finds it quite interesting--Severus wants to find immortality? Or, create it?

"Best not tell anyone else about this--or what you're up to. If people find out, such a concoction would cause quite a stir with anyone who wants it badly enough to do anything for it." Before he can say anything, she puts her hands up, "Ah, and I sure as hell won't say anything," she chuckles.

Still, she marvels all around them. This really is incredible. Letting him go and holding her breath so as not to contaminate anything as she gets up close, she looks at the undersides of the fungi before drawing away, finally exhaling. She takes especial interest in the glow worms, as she rarely harvests them.

"Amazing, Severus." Her voice is quiet, not wanting to disrupt the space, in case the very vibrations of her voice could somehow tamper with the intricate workings, here. Hearing running water, she is instinctively drawn to it, and returns to take his arm and lead him toward the sound.

"I have to see the water," she explains with a small smile. "Perhaps it is the Fountain of Youth, itself." Ah, she can see it, now--sampling a little bit of the water and getting raging Hershey squirts later. It might be worth it, though, for the entertainment factor at present.

Remembering a thought from before--speaking of entertainment factor--she smirks and claps a hand on his shoulder, "Glad you didn't have to fart on the way here, by the way--my head would have been crop-dusted and my mouth was open. You're a good man, Severus." Smirking, the expression fades as they come to the pool of water, with a small stream feeding it. Exquisite...

"I know it would tamper with the delicacy of the space, but I wish we could swim in it." This is a place she would go to feel completely apart from people. Indeed, she won't be telling anyone else about this place. Especially the potioneers. It would be their wet dream, for sure.

Severus was thrilled that Avalon found the space as intriguing as he did.............and as valuable.  He also noticed that he thrilled with her touch on his arm, her hand in his and her hand on his shoulder.  He also chuckled when she mentioned him 'farting' on her as they walked through the passageway.

Severus grasped Avalons hand in a firm embrace as they walked to the sound of the water and arrived at the pool.  As they both stood at the beautiful pool being reflected in indigo light, it did indeed look inviting but the look was deceiving.  The pool of water looks black and deep in front of them and it is indeed tempting to take a dip............but it would also be ice cold.  But perhaps...............

Not taking his hand out from hers and turning to look at Avalon, he smiles softly at her.

"Would you like to return to my lake and take an evening swim?  I can assure you, the water is warm and delightful.  And.............in reference to my crop dusting you.............I can assure you that I have very good control of my bodily functions......in all occasions."

He continued to hold her hand and looked up and around at the beautiful sight around them.

"I am experimenting only with an unusual elixir.  My goal is to not extend life, though that might be a byproduct of the potion I am currently developing.  My goal is to find a potion that will render any illness that one might experience...........immediately null and void.  I have experimented with some animals that I have exposed to everything from dragon pox to muggle cancer and so far, my experiments are showing good results."

He looked back down at her again and hoped she would join him for a swim.  It was still very warm outside and the water would be refreshing.  He was very, very aware of how close he was to her, and looking down into her eyes was intoxicating.

She feels herself sinking further and further into the black pool. To her, the only thing holding her back is the possibility of disrupting the delicate balance of the ecosystem of the pool. The cold and depth don't bother her. As long as hypothermia isn't a possibility, she's good.

However, Severus poses an interesting alternative, and she finds herself smiling. Hm...warmer water. That would be something. About to respond, he finishes with mentioning his bodily functions...and she snickers.

"DO you? Well, that's reassuring, but I probably can't say the same. It just depends on the bodily function in question." Patting his arm reassuringly, he'll find out eventually if they spend enough time together. Then again, her warped little mind also goes to...other...bodily functions, and she smirks outright, almost wanting to challenge him about not getting an erection if they go skinny dipping... Perhaps another time. Clearing her throat, still smug, she raises her eyebrows.

"I would very much like to return to your home for an evening swim." With his hand holding hers, she sees no real reason to retract it. Ah, and as he goes on about the potion he's making, she listens carefully. Hm...she rather hopes he's practicing on slugs.

"That would be quite the ingenious feat, my dear," she says thoughtfully, "People would kill for that. You'll have to be careful." Yes, she could go down the, 'overpopulation of the world,' route, but really, she has no will to argue that point. If he can do it, then good on him!

Then, she grins, remembering how he took her waist before Apparating them here. No doubt it was safer to Apparate outside this place and then walk in, but as far as getting back out... She wraps her arms around his waist, a bit smug, and then Disapparates them both back a short distance away from Severus' house.

"Here we are!" She says brightly, looking around. "Just a quick swim, mind--my menagerie will be rightfully pissed off if I don't get back in an hour or so. Plus, I have to open the blasted shop." Sighing inwardly, she's already dreading it. She's going to savor this time while she can, however.

Disapparating quickly beside Avalon took Severus by surprise.  He was always delighted to be surprised by her so often.  He found her delightful and always doing or saying something unexpected.  He found that intriguing as hell.

Landing outside his home, he took her hand and walked the short ways up the road, onto the path that led to his front door and then placing his hand on his door, the door opened into the cool of his foyer.  The smell of his home was of fresh air and the subtle smells of good food cooking.

Minky met them almost immediately and bobbed up and down, excited to see her master.

"Minky, we are going for a swim in the lake.  Could you please bring us robes and fresh towels?  Some tea and biscuits would be nice as well.  Thank you.  It's always good to see you."

Minky was thrilled with the compliment and after a profuse, "Right away sirs.........", she rushed off to her appointed tasks.

Severus smiled at Avalon.  "Follow me."

They walked through the living room and he opened the back french doors that led onto the stone walkway to the patio.  The evening was almost fully upon them and many of the stars were out.  The air was quite warm but there was a gentle breeze coming in from across the lake.   Coming to the end of the patio with the lounge chairs and tables, Minky soon followed with robes and huge, fluffy white towels.  She also set iced and hot tea on the table as well as a plate full of mincemeat cookies.  She also lit the torches that lined the patio area and they fluttered in the gentle breeze.

With a wave of Severus' wand, his clothing disappeared and he was wearing floppy jams with large blue Hawaiian flowers on them.  He grimaced as he looked down at his attire and then shrugged.  His attire might be lacking but his physique showed that he now was muscular and trim, despite the scars that were evident on his back.

"I never did perfect that spell."

With that he walked to the beach, pulled 2 large inner tubes into the water with him and then swam near to the center of the lake.

"Come on in, the water is perfect.  And I have something special to show you as soon as it is totally dark."

Severus watched Avalon and couldn't take his eyes off of her.

A part of her will always check to see if her wards are intact. Of course, he'd be able to feel it right away, but still. She likes to feel her magical signature about the place.

Oh, and goodness, if they hadn't already eaten, she might be hungry for whatever Minky might be cooking at the moment. Grinning as the little one comes around the corner, so excited to see Severus, it's so sweet to see him have someone like this in his life. He really is quite good with her.

Waving at Minky before she dashes off, Avalon then slides behind Severus as he heads for the back of the house. Ah, very nice, indeed. She's still smiling quietly as everything gets situated for them, and she immediately takes a mincemeat cookie and gobbles it. Her favorite. Taking a cup of hot tea with it, she watches on as Severus transfigures his clothing to... Oh, sweet Merlin! Chuckling, she tries to hide her mouth behind her tea.

"You know, Minerva would give you no end of hell for that," she grins, only smirking a little bit. "I'm sure she'd help you, if you were to ask...and ask nicely." Now she's smug.

Watching him haul the inner tubes out into the lake, she finds him...amusing. Floating isn't quite the same as being in the water, nor does it count as swimming! She won't tease him about that, though. One thing at a time...because she's now laughing outright with great uncensored guffaws.

"You have something special to show me as soon as it is totally dark, hm? I've heard that before, you know." Snickering, she takes up her wand and transfigures her clothing into a completely white bathing suit--a one-piece that is fit for swimming. It's not a bathing suit. It's a swim suit. There is a definite difference, and when you do as much swimming as Avalon does, it matters.

The suit and her hair both look white-silver in the waning light, and against her peach-colored skin, she looks a bit...light, but she's always been pale, so no matter. Stepping into the water, she doesn't get her hair wet, yet, but paddles over to Severus, treading the water effortlessly.

"So...dare I ask what you're going to show me that only comes out at night?" Yes, she might be an ass, but she can't help it. She wiggles her eyebrows, trying not to snicker--trying and failing.

Severus chuckled to himself as he listened to her suggestion of asking Minerva to assist him in the transfiguration spell to change his clothing into a bathing suit.............but would not be caught dead requesting something like that from her.  He would never hear the end of it!  She was already a meddlesome biddy at best and providing her with more information to make his life troublesome was simply NOT going to happen!

He noticed his mouth watering as Avalon transfigured her clothing into a beautiful white bathing suit.  The white of the suit was a lovely compliment to her white hair. Her creamy skin in combination with her hair and suit almost seemed to appear as if she were shimmering in the near-faded evening light.  He swallowed rapidly and willed his heart to slow down its excited beating.  She was lovely and he wanted her.........but now was not the time.  She was NOT like any other casual encounter he had experienced in the past.  Avalon was special and he wanted more than just her body............but her body was sumptuous indeed.

Laughing out loud and grinning at her wickedly as she approached him in the water, he intended the sexual innuendo and he was pleased to see her willing to play in that area.  They were both adults and Severus was sexually at his peak...........and this was how adults played.  He waggled his eyebrows at her as well.

"Madam, there are indeed.................things..............that I could show you that come out day AND night............but for now..............let me show you this."

He took his wand out of a pocket of his jams, pointed it up to the sky and spoke a spell quickly.  A quick stream of golden light shot out of his wand up high into the sky and burst out into billions of tiny, golden, shimmering dragonflies that fluttered and flew high above them as well as around them.  It would appear as though they were in a cloud of shimmering, golden, fluttering dragonflies that reflected beautiful in the water. 

He looked at his work, then at Avalon.  He hoped that she enjoyed the treat as the spell would last about an hour.

"Will this do or would you like to see something else Avalon?"

She grinned at her and one eyebrow rose into his hair............teasing her.

Oh, good! He's not scandalized! She rather likes it when he laughs. Good man... As she listens on, her eyebrows rise. Things, hm? Things he could show her that come out day and night...

About to quip about a beast or monster that comes out day and night, like a Daywalker, she decides to behave herself for a minute or two. Only a minute or two, mind. Now that the dam has been broken in this regard, she's going to enjoy teasing him.

Watching on as he casts...all thoughts of playfulness leave her, and she is simply in awe. The sky is alight. Alight with...dragonflies. Moved, she feels her eyes moisten, and she ducks under the water for a moment to disguise anything that might slide down her cheeks.

Wordlessly, she wades over to him, climbs onto his back while wrapping her arms around him, and rests her chin on his shoulder. Looking all around them, she's still speechless, and simply leans her head lightly against his. She's hypnotized, and touched.

"This is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, with magic," she confesses in a murmur. "You mightn't have known, but dragonflies are one of my favorite things ever. I have good memories with them. This is...exquisite. Thank you." Gently, she places a tender kiss on his cheek, before resting her head on his shoulder once more.

There is a definite sense of peace that washes over her as she watches the dragonflies flit about. They skim the water and shift all around them. Reflected in the lake, she watches them there, too.

"They're almost like those lanterns that people light and send up into the air--but much quicker, much more agile," she says conversationally. "I could watch them for hours." At another thought, she smiles softly, "I'm going to see what they look like from another angle."

Without further ado, she ducks once again under the water, and keeps her eyes open, looking up. It's a surreal sight, to be sure. Resurfacing, she immediately returns to her perch on Severus' back, resting her head against him.

Severus was thrilled that Avalon liked the golden dragonflies.  He enjoyed this spell as well and it was always mesmerizing to watch.  As Avalon came up behind him and placed her arms around him, for a moment he was surprised.  Nobody ever touched him.  When she placed a sweet kiss on his cheek and laid her head on his shoulder, Severus simply melted.  He closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers and simply drank in the intimate moment.

This is exactly what he was looking for in a woman.  These small moments in time when the world stopped and everything that mattered was leaning against him, contented and relaxed.

The moment she left him, he turned and then smiled fondly as she laid under water.  He knew exactly what she was doing and he had to admit he had never thought of observing the dragonflies like that before.  He also noticed that he missed the contact with her body acutely but the ache left as she returned and placed her head against him once again.

He sighed audibly and leaned into her as well.  After what could have been an eternity or a few moments, he raised his head and then turned to face Avalon, gently taking hold of her arms and pulling him close to her.  He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled.  His voice came out in a low, husky whisper.

"I want to let you know that I am very enamored with you Avalon.  I feel good when I am with you.  You are an exciting, vibrant and intelligent woman and I would like to see more of you, not as friends.  I am a gentleman and I care for you.  I will always show you respect and caring.  Is this something that appeals to you as well?"

As he watched her, he held his breath..............wondering if he had spoken too soon.  His thumbs were caressing her arms and her skin felt so soft it was like velvet.

The dragonflies were so beautiful under the water, too. Surreal. She'll return to that vantage point again, but for now, she is content. Feeling him lean against her, this is very, very nice. She enjoys this feeling to no end.

After an indeterminate amount of time, she feels him move, and bobs in the water while he gets situated, facing where he likes. Canting her head when she finds out that he's coming to face her, she looks at him curiously before he speaks. Ah, and then he speaks, and now she's blushing to no end.

Swallowing thickly, she feels herself getting nervous, though she has no need to be, and she knows this. Is this the part where she's supposed to declare something? Oh, WHY is she so terrible with people?! Taking a deep breath, she knows that this is just a question, and one she can answer.

"Yes," she says simply, but her brows furrow worriedly in the next moment, "Severus, I care for you a great deal. You are becoming very important to me, and I want to spend even more time with you. I can relax when I'm with you--even when someone was trying to kill us," she chuckles a bit at that last part. "I do want to proceed--and yes, I will always show you equal respect and caring, if not more, because that is just my nature..." The words are easy to say, and she means everything wholeheartedly, but she can't quell the racing in her chest, and there's an ache in her throat, as well.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, she begins speaking quickly, trying to keep any trembling from her voice or mouth, "Severus, you should know...I am not normal. I'm just not. I am eccentric. I am quirky. I am...awkward as hell with people, sometimes. I've been alone for so long. I've been building walls around me since I was a child--literally and figuratively. I..." Faltering, she heaves another breath and smiles, "I've forgotten what it's like to live around others. I'm painfully shy--though I might seem otherwise, because sometimes there isn't an option to be the introvert I am." For a long moment, she ponders how to proceed. It seems as though more needs to be said.

"I have a lot of ghosts," she says finally, "More than one might think." At a sudden thought, she clarifies, "Ah, erm, not literally--my home isn't overrun by ghosts. I mean...in my mind. It's a...strange and varied place." She doesn't like talking about herself. She loathes it. She tries to circumvent it all by being vague, "I am...very different, in many different ways. So...if you're expecting something familiar in a stereotypical woman, I am afraid I am...nothing of the sort." She smiles, though she wants to cry.

It isn't that she's ashamed of who she is. She just realizes that not a lot of people can deal with someone like her, and most have no clue what they're up against, between her past and her mind... Trying to think of anything else to say to give him sufficient warning, she comes up blank.

"That said, I do want to be with you," she says in a small voice, "I just...don't want to disappoint you in any way." Sighing, she tries to give an example, "No doubt you know the literary character, Sherlock Holmes. I'm like him in many ways, yes, but I'm even more like his brother, Mycroft. Of course there are differences--I don't have Mycroft's outer ego...but I could. Especially if left unchecked, and when I'm around too many people. That's not a good thing." In this impromptu confession, she feels guilty for saying so much, but he needs to know: these aspects of her present challenges. Stymied, she sighs, "I'm never difficult or anything of the sort on purpose. That's my one saving grace. I don't mean to be...challenging."

It also occurs to her that she might not be being clear at all. She's not giving concrete examples of her personality. Perhaps she's being too vague. Looking at him, she tries to see how he's doing so far with this. In truth, she anticipates that he might run for the hills, and she wouldn't blame him if he did.

Severus smiled fondly at Avalon as she spoke, understanding exactly what she was saying.  She might not think she was making herself clear, but she was perfectly clear to Severus.  She was different.  She was not like the others.  She had a past.  She was trying to please him and worried she wouldn't.  He was so deeply touched he had to remind himself to breathe.

He moved one hand from her arm to her cheek, stroked it once with his finger and then placed his hand under her chin so she would look up at him.  He spoke gently to her and smiled a boyish, lopsided sort of smile.

"I like different.  I do not like the 'norm'.  I too, am a person, a man with a past.......ghosts a-plenty but they no longer haunt me.  I too, enjoy solitude and quiet.  I am not an easy person to get to know and keep my own counsel."

He looked down and then back into Avalon's eyes.

"I like quirky and am not an easy man................I am complicated.  But I DO know, that I want to know you better.  I feel a peace wash over me when I hear your voice or feel your touch.  You surprise me at every turn, and I like that.  You are independent and capable.  You don't NEED anyone in your life, but if you would choose to share your life with someone, it would be just that.................something you would choose.  I like that and that describes me as well.  And, you are a beautiful woman.  I can not help but be attracted to you in that way.  You are stunning to look at and I am attracted to you."

He dropped his hand from her chin and smiled once again.

"I would be proud to call you someone special in my life, if you will have me."

She nearly flinches when he raises his hand toward her face--just a reaction, though nothing of his actions told her that he would hurt her. Indeed, in her higher mind, she knows that he wouldn't harm her. It was just a reaction, nothing more. With nothing more than the slightest movement--a tilt of her head--she stays very still, holding her breath...

...Until she melts at the gentle touch at her cheek. Leaning into it softly, she looks into his eyes, even before he moves his finger under her chin. When he starts to speak, tears threaten again to fall, but she's stubborn.

Swallowing several times as he continues, she feels even more at peace...except for the very last thing. Still, she's thawed sufficiently enough to come and wrap her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. She's hiding. Closing her eyes, she tries to find words, and holds him even tighter as her emotions rise.

"I want to know you better, as well. I feel that you are very accepting of me, and that is a wonderful feeling. I do want you in my life. I want you in my life in a romantic way. I just...don't know if I'm ready to jump in with both feet. I test the waters...as it were," she adds with a small exhale of a laugh, considering where they're standing. Brows furrowing, she works to keep her mouth as a firm line as she tries to continue.

"It might be a sound idea--and perhaps this is just one of my quirks--that we don't put a label on either of us just yet. That way, if we find that we...grow apart, no harm no foul. We remain friends and important to each other." Perhaps she's trying to minimize the loss, should it occur. Granted, it might not, but she doesn't want to take that chance.

"Also, please understand...I'm saying this now, BECAUSE I care for you so much. Not because I don't care for you. That couldn't be further from the truth." She's not sure when the tears started to fall, but she can feel them rolling down her cheeks as she holds him tightly, not wanting to let him go, but would, if he cannot accept this.

She wants him to be happy and at peace with her. She wants to BRING him happiness. Just...not be so formal about it? She's in her mind too much at the moment, and is getting jumbled. Closing her eyes, she breathes, trying to find some clarity.

"I don't think you're a dalliance of any sort, either. I hold you in very high regard. I'm just...Christ, I don't know. I'm still a virgin, for fuck's sake, Sev. I just..." Heaving a huge sigh, she shakes her head at herself. "Forgive me," she murmurs, apologizing for...her awkwardness, in general. At a loss with herself, she stays quiet.

Severus had lived his life and saved his life with the ability to read micro-expressions.  He filed away the fact that Avalon almost flinched as he reached up to touch her face.  She had been mistreated at one time.  Pain and surprise registered in her eyes for a fleeting moment.  He noted it and would make sure to move slower if he had his hands around her face again.  The emotion it evoked in him was near rage for whoever had hurt her.  Another conversation for another time, perhaps.

She was also very emotional and that was fine.  He was feeling that way as well.  He cared for her.  As she placed her head on his shoulder, he gently placed his hand on her head in a gentle caress while listening to her words and enclosed her in a warm embrace with the other.  She felt so good to him............and she fit perfectly in his arms.

As he listened to her speak, he suddenly realized from the change in her voice, that she was crying.  She cared for him and because she cared so deeply for him, she was being careful and cautious with their relationship.  He could only feel deep regard for her as he felt similarly.  A deep, abiding and lasting relationship takes time, care and work.  It sounded like she was willing to take the steps to beginning that work if they were both in the same place emotionally.  He couldn't agree more and held her tightly in his arms, still stroking her head.

As she raised her head to look at him, he was about to speak to reassure her when she told him she was a virgin.................she's a VIRGIN??!!!  His eyes opened wide with shock but continued to hold her tightly, refusing to let her go.  He was stunned.  A beautiful woman like her still a virgin?  He couldn't fathom it.  He gathered himself quickly though and smiled at her.

"And you will remain a virgin until you decide that is the direction you wish to allow our relationship to take.  I respect you and though can not imagine a beautiful woman like yourself not partaking in the delights of the flesh, YOU will decide at your own time, if that is what you wish to share with me.  As for all that you said, I agree.  Let's enjoy each other without expectations in any direction............and just enjoy all life has to offer."

He held her once again and kissed the top of her head then chuckled and looked up.

"The dragonflies have almost completed their antics and my feet are getting cold.  Shall we head to the patio where there is something to drink and munch on as well as a warm wrap?"

He's being so good to her. Also, she can tell by his touch that he isn't doing this because he wants to get his rocks off. No, he's putting in time, and she recognizes and appreciates that. His hold on her is calming, and she can feel herself relaxing bit by bit.

Groaning inwardly, she chuckles when he acknowledges the v-word part of her identity. Ah, and as he continues, she feels that it's only right to tell him...a bit more. Yet, he says the most important part: no expectations. Enjoy themselves.

Sniffing, she looks around them at the dragonflies and nods. She doesn't want him to be in any discomfort. Taking another deep breath, she begins the trek out of the water and toward the shore.

"That sounds lovely. Plus, a trip to the bathroom might be in order, lest I pee in your lake," she chuckles and nudges him gently--not enough to off-balance him into the water, but still.

They receive towels from Minky, and when Avalon is dry, she slips off to use the facilities, with the House Elf as her guide. Taking a short while to think of what to say next, she splashes a bit of water on her face to erase the tear tracks. 'Get tough.' That's what her mother used to say, for fairly much all occasions. Feeling hollow at that thought, she doesn't allow herself to think on it any further, and exits the bathroom to find Severus.

Handed a hot apple cider by Minky, Avalon thanks her softly and turns to look at her host. Her lovely, lovely host. How much to tell him, and when? Perhaps the easier subjects, first. She's at the point where she would tell him anything, if he asked.

"As far as partaking in sexual activities...I am not wholly innocent. I've done everything--and I mean just about everything--except have intercourse. I've had male and female partners, and enjoy both. I'm certainly not prudish. I can just sense...a great deal about a person's intent, when I'm with them. Call it a sixth sense, if you will. Or, simply a heightened sense of touch, where I can discern someone's emotions through touch. Perhaps it's a hyper-sensitivity. I don't know." Absently, she sips her cider, her voice quiet as she stares ahead of her, unseeing. She isn't afraid. Just...feeling a bit wrung out. However, at a thought, she looks at him clearly, holding his gaze.

"Thank you for being so gracious. It means the world to me. Your patience, also." Again, she hates talking about herself, because most people don't take the trouble to remember, so why waste her breath? Still, she finds herself talking, though the darker part of her tells her she shouldn't, "Sometimes I feel a bit like a nomad. My spirit goes...here and there. There is a restlessness in me that I don't know how to stop. I've always been adventurous, though, so perhaps that's just what I've grown into. I don't know." She's rambling, and she stops, but doesn't apologize again, lest it be irritating.

Even now, she tries to figure it out. She has always had a lot of pressure on her...and then the pressure became too much. She used to be very Type A, as some people call it. Now, she simply feels fractured.

Severus watched Avalon's back as she walked into the house to use the bathroom.  He dried off, then turned to look out at the last of the dragonflies.  As blackness descended with the last dragonflies' flicker, he lit the torches, then stood and looked out across the reflections of the fires in the lake. Avalon was a woman with many layers, and like him, those layers were filled with human emotions and experiences that shaped lives.  Some of those layers were dangerous to even tread lightly within and others were joyous and happy.  Severus also sensed fear in her.  He could almost smell it and the last thing he wished to do was to make her afraid of him for ANY reason.  She was a virgin???  He was still quite surprised by this.  He didn't think he had met anyone that was a virgin that wasn't under the age of 17.  He also had never been with a virgin and though considered to be a caring, considerate and skilled lover, he had no experience with a virgin.  

Turning when she arrived back to the patio, he watched her dry herself off and he sat in one of the comfortable lounge chairs while gesturing to her to do the same.  He listened to her speak, then smiled and nodded.

"Perhaps your ability to sense people's intent and/or emotions is a magical gift.  If you are indeed emphatic, then that is indeed a rare and valuable gift and could be honed into an amazing skill.  It might be a good idea to explore the possibility if you are interested."

He looked out across the forest as he was facing in that direction, then smiled at Avalon.  He cleared his throat and continued to tell part of his story while looking at the forest off and on.

"I am NOT a virgin.  I have been with both sexes as well and find that being with women is the most pleasurable to me.  I prefer the emotional company of women as well.  I am also monogamous.  Once I make a choice to be with a woman, for however long it may last, then I stay with that one woman.  I am not a man to show my affections often or publicly, though it is plain to all observing that I am in a relationship when I am so attached."

"In all fairness, since you spoke openly about yourself and shared honestly with me, it is only right that I share some of myself with you honestly as well.  It has been a very long time since I was emotionally attached to a woman.  All my experiences since I graduated from Hogwarts have been of a casual nature.................for sexual purposes only.  The woman that I was very attached to, we had known each other since we were children.  We went to school together..........you probably remember her.............Lily Evans.  She was in my class and a Gryffindor.  Though she spent time with James Potter in the last years of our schooling, the first four, we spent together.  We were best friends for many years and later as we matured, we were intimate together...............often.  I was planning on asking for her hand in marriage after we graduated but, like a fool I made choices that drove her from me and our relationship ended.  She married James Potter, Harry's father and Voldemort killed both of them a year after Harry was born."

He paused there and sighed deeply.  Though he was no longer attached to Lily in the same way he used to be, the experience was still painful to him and he still had regrets.  But he moved on with his life after the war.  He looked at Avalon and smiled once again.

"It took me many years to heal from those choices and that experience but I was able to finally purge myself from the guilt and most of the pain.  The memory of the poor choices I made back at that time still cause me some pain, but I have moved on in my life, especially after the war."

He then took a drink of iced tea and set the glass down gently.

"Do I wish Lily were here?  No.  Do I wish that I had chosen other paths?  No.  Have I paid penance for some of my choices?  Yes.  Will I continue to make mistakes?  Yes, unfortunately.  Am I wiser?  Absolutely."

He decided to end THAT story for now and perhaps some day, he would tell her more if she were interested.

"So that is part of MY story.  I hope I didn't bore you or put you off but I thought you should know that you are indeed special to be able to touch my heart.............as am I to have my heart opened to caring for you."

He picked up his tea and sipped carefully.  He wondered what she was thinking and feeling to hear this story from him.

Settling into one of the lounge chairs, she listens to him speak about the gift of being an empath, and she nods a bit. Wondering how to comment, exactly, she sighs a bit. It's a double-edged sword, for certain.

"In some ways, it's both a gift and a curse. As far as exploring the possibility, that part is unavoidable, as it's not something I can turn on and off like a switch. It's a bit like hearing--whether or not you choose to pay attention, but always present."

Ah, and now it's her turn to listen to part of his story. Indeed, she didn't think he was a virgin. It pleases her greatly to hear that he's been with both men and women. At the rest, she listens carefully.

Interesting...he's monogamous, but he has had casual relationships with women, just for sex? At the mention of Lily, Avalon nods. Yes, she remembers her. In truth. Avalon was rather taken with her, as well, when they were younger. She remembers Severus and Lily interacting, as well as the four Gryffindor boys. What a debacle that was.

She nods again at the mention of choices, and continues to listen quietly. He's very open and honest with her, and she appreciates that a great deal. Smiling a bit, she relaxes back in her chair, mind full.

"Thank you," she says, just for telling her all of that, "Ah, and no, you didn't put me off. As for myself, I guard my heart fiercely, but you are certainly doing everything right." Her smile widens a bit more, before considering where to go, now.

"I know you mentioned you are monogamous. Personally, I believe in dating, at first--which means spending time and company with people I enjoy until I'm ready to make a choice or steady commitment. 'Going steady,' I believe it was called, in the 1950s. I think people nowadays have forgotten the preliminary dating stage, and jump straight into serious relationships with expectations of...a lot of things, and I don't know if I'm ready to settle down. Here's the thing: I was brought up in a very controlling environment--parents and sibling, both--and in ways, I'm still running from that kind of feeling." Brows furrowing, she remembers some of the names she's been called in the past, and brings that up, as well.

"I've been called a, 'fence-sitter,' in this regard--as well as in regards to my sexuality. However, I don't think that's accurate. All the feelings I have for people are genuine. In regards to being bisexual, I simply enjoy aspects of both, that's all, and it doesn't make me a terrible person, as others seem to think, by my not choosing one gender over another and sticking with that mindset for the rest of my life, declaring myself lesbian or heterosexual once and for all, and I can never change, ever again." Here, she scowls at the memories, and glares at the lake.

"For many years, people have tried to make me conform to what THEY think is right. What they view as normal--whatever that may be, and whatever topic. However, you can't put a round peg in a square hole, can you?" Sighing, she softens, and smiles gently at Severus. "Sorry for the venting. I suppose some people are content with labels. They take comfort in knowing they are, this, this, this, this, and this," she counts on her fingers as she talks, "and that's just fine...for them. It's when they start foisting their opinions on me that pisses me off. Just because one decision is made, doesn't mean one can't change later on in life."

Realizing she's still on her soapbox, she takes another deep breath and sips her tea. Used to ruffling people's feathers, she looks over at Severus to see how he's doing with all this. Gentling, her voice is soft.

"So many people are content to be mainstream and conform to other's ideas, just to be liked. I am not one of those."

Severus feels enthusiastic at hearing her talk about conformity and not fitting into any mold that someone might choose for her.

"Indeed Avalon!  I certainly understand your perspective.  I have played many roles in my life and I have found that I simply prefer to be me, simply me, without regard to who others may think I SHOULD be or other's perceptions of me."

He paused for a moment and then spoke softly.

"There is freedom in that isn't there?  Freedom to just do and be and experience without a written script or a 'plan'?"

He considered her a moment and then added.........

"I don't believe that people are absolutely heterosexual or homosexual.  I have learned that an individual's sexuality evolves with time and experience.  One may lean one way or another but some may not.  For me personally, I find my most satisfying sexual and emotional relationships with women.  Have I enjoyed men in that way?  Certainly............but not as deeply as with women.  That is what I have discovered about myself at my age."

He looked over at her and smiled.

"I hope I continue to do everything right...............but I'm sure I will blunder and fumble and distress you in some way.  I'm usually the last to know if I've taken a misstep.  If I do any such thing, please let me know.  I have no desire to cause you any pain or ire."

He then looked up at Minky as she came onto the patio.

"Sirs and Ma'ams, there is an owl that came for you.............for you both.  The owl that dropped this flew away to fast for mes to stops it so you could makes a answer Sirs."

Severus took the small folded piece of parchment from Minky and nodded.  He looked to Avalon for permission to open it, and when it was given, he opened it and read it quickly.  Then handed it to Avalon to read for herself.  The parchment would read:

'Severus and Avalon, please attend an Order meeting tomorrow evening, 8 pm, at the Burrow.'  The note was clearly in Arthur Weasley's hand.

"Well, it looks as though you have been invited to an Order meeting.  Do you wish to attend?"

She's relieved to see and hear Severus be so supportive of her choice of being herself. He may find out sooner or later that she stands up to her friends in this regard, as well. Having spent much too long trying to please others, she is careful and cognizant now to see to her own wants and desires. Nodding quietly when he mentions freedom, she has many thoughts on this.

"Indeed...to do, be, and experience, without someone telling you, 'no.' To not have to sacrifice or compromise. Instead of saying, 'I wish I could have done,' you can say, 'I did this.' It's an amazing feeling." Throughout her life, she's paved her way, and it's been hard, without question. However, her way is just that: hers--and she can't give that up.

Also, she nods in agreement to his belief that people aren't totally heterosexual or homosexual. She believes that statement one hundred percent. For her, it just boils down to chemistry. Pure and simple.

She can't help but smile as he continues about doing things the right way. He's being very gracious, certainly. Pondering a moment, she nods.

"I know I will no doubt do things to disconcert you, as well--and I apologize in advance. I'm not the vindictive type whatsoever, so you can rest easy on that point. I will say that one of the things I'm guilty of most, is when I get angry...I get quiet. I mull it over for awhile, and sometimes it takes a long, long time for me to process and decide if I should be angry or not. So, it's a bit of a delayed response. In some ways, it's good, because I'm not going to do a knee-jerk reaction. Yet, in some ways, it's bad, because after sitting on it so long, it's festered and toxic. One of these days, I'll learn to strike a happy medium." True enough. One is always learning about themselves. Granted, Avalon has a pretty damn good idea of herself. More than most.

Ah, and now Minky comes out, and Avalon is puzzled as to who would send them an owl. Certainly not Harry... Reading the note when it comes to her, she raises an eyebrow. Oh, dear.

"Certainly," she says, but her tone is a bit wry, "As long as the initiation ceremony doesn't involve secret handshakes, singing a chant, wearing a name tag, and/or doing a getting-to-know-you name game, or any other such nonsense. I'll stay for the orgy, though." Smirking, she snorts softly, just imagining the shocked look on the others' faces, should she mention such a thing tomorrow after the meeting.

It strikes her that he might have a question, along that vein. Pausing a moment, she considers how to broach this one. Hands folded in front of her, she wordlessly, wandlessly transfigures her clothing back to the way it should be.

"You might be wondering: how adventurous am I? Quite. Would I ever actually participate in an orgy? It depends on the participants, but possibly. Have I ever done such a thing? No. Ah, and am I capable of being in a committed, monogamous relationship? Certainly. I have in the past, and they were both long and happy relationships. However, it will take a great deal of time to pass the dating stage where I may or may not spend time with other people. Perhaps you might get tired of waiting for me to declare myself yours and only yours. I would understand that." Not everyone has her quirks. She didn't used to be like this, either. A part of her wonders how she developed into what she's become, in this manner. Decidedly not mainstream, if her toy collection is anything to go by.

Severus listened raptly as she spoke  and then chuckled when she talked about being willing to experience an orgy.  He had participated in one of those many, many years ago in his youth.  They were interesting to say the least but not very satisfying.

"I would only be honored if you would declare yourself to me some day, but then I must be certain as well.  Time will tell as in all things."

He paused for a moment and then spoke again.

"Changing the subject if I may, have you given more thought to joining the Order?  There are no initiation rites nor any passwords or any other such nonsense.  Members are invited and that is the only way into the Order.  People leave via death, and no other way.  To be a member means that you will forevermore have a family as well as friends.  Each of us has our own story and being a member you would learn the truth of each members' story.  We are also committed to protecting the wizarding world from itself at times.  We protect muggles.................and those that work in league with the Dark Lord, we will place in Azkaban.  When one of us is in danger, we are all in danger."

Leaning back in his chair he looked up into the star-filled sky above.  The stars were beautiful tonight.  After all he had heard from Avalon and her longing for solitude and her restless nature, he wondered if she would value something like the Order.

"Is that something that appeals to you?"

He turned his head to look at her and wondered who she would feel.

As he speaks, she can only smile. Nodding, she relaxes a bit more. Good, he's thinking.

"Indeed, time will tell." They've only known each other...what? Two, three days? There is a goodly amount of ground to cover before they just jump right in, in any way. Perhaps she takes things glacially slow, but it's better that way. Getting to know someone is so incredibly important.

Her brows rise when he mentions the Order once more. Smirking, she was joking about that whole initiation bit. As quickly as they rose, they furrow as he continues.

The only way out is death? Jesus Christ! That's rather severe, isn't it? She further shudders at the mention of having a family. Learning others' stories? Oh, hell... She can't help the expressions on her face. They speak eloquently of...distaste.

"Oh, Sev," she sighs softly. "It all sounds a bit, 'one for all, and all for one,' doesn't it? As far as how involved I would be...I don't want to wish for death just to get away from it all. I've never done well with family. Or friends. I have acquaintances, but few actual friends. As far as the stories of why everyone is part of the Order...to be frank, I don't care. We all have our reasons, don't we? I don't need it spelled out for me. I'm prepared to take everyone at their word; and I hope they extend me the same courtesy, because my story is my own, and I'm not telling it." Closing her eyes a moment, she then trains her gaze on the torches that burn brightly, before looking at him once more.

"As for the rest, I can do. Subversion I can do. Wards I can do. Protection I can do. Shadows and half-truths I can do, for the benefit of the Order. I will always walk my own path, but I will reiterate what I said, before: you lot make a lot of decisions that affect this little world of ours, and something tells me that it's a bit...Gryffindor-heavy. That's all well and good, but there should be balance, and someone who thinks like those they're going up against. Your voice is outnumbered. I am quiet until the need arises, and then my voice is quite clear. I know I have your ear, and Harry's. Minerva's, as well, and possibly Minister Shacklebolt's--I got a good vibe from him." Taking another breath, she folds her hands quietly in her lap.

"In short, no, it doesn't appeal to me, but I'll do it anyway, because it is needed. I will lurk in the shadows as much as possible until a voice of reason or idea needs to be voiced. All right? I'll Apparate here shortly before eight tomorrow night, and since you know where we're going, perhaps you could Apparate us there. How does that sound?" There is no doubt what House she's from. She's not going to be cold or aloof to anyone, but she will probably appear that way; it's her form of shyness. No doubt she'll warm up, in time. "Just stick me in a corner somewhere until I get used to everyone," she smirks.

Severus laughed loudly as Avalon finished her 'opinion' of the Order and her need to change some of the perspective.  He stood then, stretched and looked fondly at her.

"You know it's about time someone came along and shook things up again.  Life in the Order has been much too complacent and Gryffindor lately.  I suspect you shall voice your opinion on all things and set people straight.  I, personally, look forward to watching it all unfold.  It shall be entertaining to say the least.   As for being thinking like our adversaries, I suspect you could so do, but our adversaries now are much tamer than they used to be."

He held up his hand to make sure that he meant no insult to her abilities by his comment.  

"What I mean by that statement is that most of the insanity and illogical thought is no longer alive.  It was very hard to plan strategically with people who were driven by insanity and power.  Very difficult indeed.  The results were often unnecessarily deadly."

He smiled down at her and held out his hand for her to take and stand with him.

"Come, it is late and I am sure that I have bored you to near-death by my maudlin conversation about relationships, the Order and being a part of the 'mainstream'."

He chuckled and the looked like nervous school boy.

"I would like to kiss you goodnight before you leave, if I have your permission."

Ah, as she thought--complacent and Gryffindor. Smirking when he mentions that she'll probably voice her opinion on all things, she simply nods, smiling a bit. True enough!

"Indeed, I will. Ah, and as far as our adversaries go, I imagine we'll have a stretch of relative peace before there's another Dark Lord. Probably nothing like the last one, but insidious in their way, trying to stoke their hard-on for power. Such goes the way of the world." It all happens in cycles. This is but one of many. Ah, and no offense is taken, and she shakes her head. "No worries. I know what you mean. Trust me, I know how to deal with strategy versus insanity. I think outside the box like that, and will educate or enlighten others in that way, as well."

Taking his hand, she chuckles and rises. Shaking her head, she takes a deep, clearing breath, "It's all right. These are all things that needed to be said, and conversations that needed to be had." Ah, and now what's this? Smiling widely and warmly when he announces his intentions. Stepping in close, she places both her hands on his upper chest and leans in close.

"Close your eyes." Once he complies, she leans upward and kisses the very corner of his mouth. Grinning, she then takes a step and Disapparates, hoping to leave him with a feeling of wanting more without being too dissatisfied.

Arriving back at her home, she's exhausted. It's been a long, trying day, filled with Veritaserum, murderers, and her past. Sighing heavily, she trudges up to her bedroom and loves on her menagerie liberally before passing the hell out.

The next day, she receives an owl post through her letter flap, which says:

Avalon,

Headmaster Dumbledore asked me to inform you that Madam Sprout is retiring. I'm not certain why--the bloody old codger fell back to sleep before he could elaborate, but it seemed to me that he wanted to free up your schedule for something, whatever that may be.

Yours,

Minerva

Granted, she's a bit puzzled...so she decides to go visit the Herbology professor sometime later that day. She has a long wait until eight this evening, so after she sits at the bloody shop for a time, she'll return to Hogwarts.

Severus closed his eyes as requested and a half-smile crossed his face.  He felt her warmth and smelled her scent before he felt the softness of her lips on the corner of her mouth.  This first kiss was so very sweet and innocent and it certainly left him wanting more.  Much, much more.  He kept his eyes closed to savor the moment when he then heard the loud crack of an apparition.  He opened his eyes and Avalon was gone.  Sighing and smiling, he walked back into his house with a light step.  

Entering his home, he walked upstairs and into his master suite.  Shutting the door to his room, he undressed while looking at the old clock on the mantel over the large stone fireplace on the far wall.  It was well after midnight and he was tired but energized as well.  With bare feet, Severus walked into his bathing room, down the steps to his bath and this time, hot water coupled with a soothing potion that would relax him so he could sleep, filled the pool quickly.  He worked very hard to bathe himself without arousing his body, but he had no luck this time.  He ignored his arousal and after thoroughly scrubbing his body and hair, he left the pool, dried himself off and after opening the windows wide to the outside, climbed into his bed.

He pulled one of his potion journals off of his bedside table but just couldn't seem to sleep despite his soothing bath.  He was too aroused and his body would not behave itself.   He kept re-visiting that soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, the softness of her lips, her scent and her warmth.  He sighed and began to take care of his 'problem' but afterwards, he was still not satisfied, though his body responded as it always did in this situation.

He needed a woman badly.  But, he would refrain from seeking the warmth of another tonight.  He picked up his potions' journal and began to read once more and finally well into the early morning, he finally fell asleep.